With female rap groups like the City Girls (#FreeJT) steadily climbing the charts, there are women all over the world shouting out “I need a n*gga who gon swipe them Visas!” and are being encouraged to have men pay their bills. I was having a discussion with a group of my female coworkers yesterday about dating a man who has a better paying job. There was a small debate where few of the women said that as long as their man is employed and contributing then they are satisfied while a couple other women argued that just being employed isn’t enough but the man should be the financial breadwinner while the woman’s income should just be supplemental but not relied on.

Obviously, I had to take this discussion to my instagram & make a poll (because instagram is life and instagram polls is one of the best features; don’t argue with me on this). The poll asks “Could you date a man who has all the qualities you’re looking for in a partner but you are the financial breadwinner?” The poll has only been active for 15 hours and women & men who have voted that they don’t mind being the breadwinner in their relationship are winning by a landslide, 76% opposed to the 24% who said that would be a deal breaker. I’m genuinely surprised because once upon a time, women being the breadwinner in a relationship was blasphemous so when did the roles reverse? When women started being their own bosses, empowering other women & breaking glass ceilings! (Fist pump to all my hard working women)

I began to get messages from women getting straight to the point, saying things like “no broke men” and “I don’t want to date a man who can only afford a cheeseburger without the combo” as well as other women stating that they fear their men would be resentful and feel emasculated.

On the other side of the spectrum, I received messages that said things like as long as he is respectful and loves me that is what matters most. Another voter messaged me saying “I don’t know why society has this idea that women always need men to be superior when it comes to finances/incomes.” (That was a very valid point)

Me personally, I have been on both sides … with the same man. Eight years ago, I began dating a man with a dollar & a dream; I was a part-time working, full-time college student with $5 & a dream but technically I was still the financial breadwinner because I had $4 more than him that was guaranteed to deposit into my account every two weeks and a financial aid check. He didn’t have a car or a steady income BUT he was fine (& that’s all that matters, just kidding) and in addition to being fine as hell, he was ambitious and believed in hisself like no one else I had ever met. Fast forward to today, he is undoubtedly the breadwinner (more than I could’ve imagined) and part of the reason for that is because he had a partner who supported him and didn’t mind working 2 jobs while going to school full time just so that I could pay my half of the rent and my car note which was heavily relied on. Let me also add, I was under the age of 25 during these struggle years so I can not say with a definite answer what I would do in that situation today as an almost 30 year old woman with a child. But, I will advise women to not be close minded or easily swayed by the rap songs (because I’m really trying to figure out where are these men that are swiping visas … without expecting a sexual favor). I will also add that anybody with ambition, faith, and hustle will never be broke for long. Let me know your thoughts on this topic in the comments.